Inner Beast: An Enemies to Lovers Romance Read online

  He shakes his head at me. “No, it wasn’t.” He whispers back.

  The waitress arrives to our table and neither of us look at her. She spouts on about the evening specials and asks us if we want anything to drink. Carter turns his head to her and asks for a bottle of red and a few more minutes to look over the menu.

  I look at him, at his pained expression that I imagine is mirrored by my own.

  “It was so real.” I tell him. “Everyone was talking about it. They were whispering and staring. It was if I was the last to know your dirty secret. You said you could explain and I thought that meant you were making up excuses.” I say. “ I thought it was real and you're saying it wasn’t. That we broke up for no reason other than your parents and one rumour that they made up?”

  He nods at me then reaches up rubbing the scruff on his face. “I don’t know how to be around you right now.” He says. “In the first few years after we broke up I thought if I could just tell you the truth that you would come back to me. That we could continue where we left off. I started working with your parents hoping I would see you being connected to them. I told them what happened and the believed me. You never came around though. When I saw you at that gala, sitting with Marcus. Well I was so happy, then I felt like someone punched me in the gut. I never thought I would see you with a guy, I mean any guy is lucky to have you, but it wasn’t easy.”

  “I’m sorry too.” I say to him. “I’m sorry that I never gave you a chance to explain.” I tell him.

  The waitress comes back to the table pouring the red into the glasses at the table. I reach up and down half of the glass and shiver at the taste.

  “Are you guys ready to order?” She asks us.

  I haven’t had time to look at the menu yet. Carter looks at me.

  “You still like greek?” He asks me.

  I tilt my head at him and smile. “Yah I do.” I tell him.

  Carter turns to the waitress and orders two greek platters one with chicken for me I assume and one with beef for him. It’s an odd feeling to go out with someone who feels like a stranger and yet knows you better than anyone else does.

  We continue talking and catching up. Carter tells me how being a sports lawyer is still exciting as he still remains close to the sport and see’s it in a different light. He still plays hockey with some of his guy friends on the weekends. He tells me how he hasn’t been speaking to his parents in a while. Then he asks about me. Where I went to college, how the business is going. Then he asks about Marcus and by then the bottle of wine is gone.

  When he asked me about Marcus I didn’t know what to say.

  “So how long have you been with Marcus Maxwell?” He asks.

  I look at him and then to the empty wine glass. Although I feel the buzz from the alcohol I don’t feel intoxicated enough to talk to my ex about the dating world.

  “Were pretty new.” I tell him.

  “He introduced you as his girlfriend at the gala. So I assumed you guys have been dating for some time.” He says. The look on his face is gut wrenching. His eye brows are pulled down the corners of his mouth are dropping. His shoulders are slumped. He looks heart broken and all I want to do is console him.

  “Does he make you happy?” He says not looking at me.

  When I don’t answer right away he starts shaking his head.

  “I’m sorry.” He says “that’s none of my business.”

  “Carter.” I say to him, fighting the tears from breaking free. “It’s ok… This is weird for both of us.” I look him in the eyes. “Marcus broke up with me today. Things lately have been so confusing but he told me to talk to you and essentially told me I needed to deal with my shit.”

  “What a bastard.” He says keeping eye contact, still leaning back in his chair. “Ali, if I had the chance I would never let you go. He is an idiot.”

  My heart thumps in my chest. Carter has always made me feel special. There has always been this magnetic pull between us. Seeing him, seeing the man he has become has only confused me more. Knowing he never betrayed me, hearing him say that he would never give up on me. I grab the napkin and wipe my face and push my chair back to stand up.

  “Did I say something wrong?” He asks, his eyebrows raising. The look of shock of him face.

  “Nope, I just need to use the washroom.” I tell him.

  I notice him relax into his chair instantly.

  “I’ll be right back.” I tell him. I push in my chair and then weave through the tables back to the little woman’s room. Once inside I rush over to the sink, gripping the edges of the marble top and staring at myself in the mirror. My skin in flushed, probably from the mixture of pheromones and wine. My hair remains in loose curls. My skin glows. I look at myself and take a deep breath trying to clear my head and try to rationalize everything to myself. What happens now? I think to myself. Do I walk out there thank him for the information and never see him again. Can I do that now that I know the truth, never see him again and what about Marcus. He knew about this, he knew and figured I would leave him behind. The bathroom door opens behind me and on instinct I raise my head and look over to the door. Carter stands there.

  “I just wanted to check on you. Make sure you’re ok. “He says. His muscles flex under his clothes. My mouth involuntarily waters. My body betrays me. This is Carter I think to myself. I push up from the counter and turn my body towards him.

  “Are you ok?” He asks me.

  I start walking towards him, nodding my head. “I’m ok Carter.” I say quietly. Once I close the gap between us I reach up placing both of my hands on his torso, slowly examining his body and the ripples and ridges underneath his shirt. Raising my hands up slowly towards his shoulders. Once there I look up into his eyes. His pupils are blown, his breathing has changed. I step into him more and reach behind him locking the bathroom door.

  “Ali.” He says leaning down and resting his forehead against mine, closing his eyes probably fighting internal demons. I take my hands and place them on either side of his head lifting it so I can look into his eyes.

  “Carter.” I say to him.

  He opens his eyes and looks at me and then opens him mouth. “I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself if we take this any farther Al. I’ve wanted nothing more than this for years and I don’t want to ruin any chance we might have by rushing into this.” He says to me. I look into his eyes and shake my head at him, at his stupidity. I pull him face down and our lips crash together. His soft warm lips meld to mine like they never left. His hands reach down and he grips my hips. He turns and backs me into the wall, lifting my dress and finding the waistband of my panties. His mouth leaves mine as he trails kisses down my jaw and along my neck.

  “Fuck, I’ve missed you Ali. Your smell, your skin. I’ve missed everything about you.” He groans as I feel my panties slip down my thighs before they slip down the rest of my legs. I lift my leg and curl it around his hips as his greedy fingers find my opening.

  “You’ve only gotten more beautiful all this time.” He lifts his head and looks at me.

  “Carter.” I groan, as an overwhelming surge of emotions taking over. I reach down for the waistband of his pants, fumbling with the button and zipper. Carter reaches down and pulls his pants down just enough for his enormous length to break free. My body tingles, muscle memory taking over. I suck in a breath waiting for him.

  “Are you sure Ali?” He says to me.

  I nod my head quickly. “Please.” I beg him and it doesn’t take anymore than that.

  Carter reaches down and grips my ass lifting me up as I wrap my legs around him. In one quick motion he pushes into me stretching my around his girth. I whimper trying not to be loud. My body shutters and spasms around him.

  “Fuck Ali.” He says. He lifts his head looking into my eyes as he lifts me off of him and then lowers me back down. Thrusting into my with such force that I can feel him hitting the spot. The build starts and its euphoric. L
ooking into his eyes, seeing him pant and come apart from just being inside me. “Ali I can’t last much longer.” He says to me. I smile at him and clench around him harder. “Fuck.” He says closing his eyes and dropping his head on my shoulder and he continues lifting me and then pushing himself into me with as much force as he can. My orgasm hits me like a cold bucket of water. I feel like legs tense around him as he fucks my orgasm, lifting his head and looking at me while I look at him. Seeing what I see.

  This isn’t over, we are not over.

  I feel Carters cock jerk inside me and warmth shortly after as I bounce on him, milking everything that he has. After he is done he slowly lifts me off of him and kisses me tenderly on the lips. He then goes and grabs from the paper towels from the machine and returns, cleaning us both up and straightening our clothes. He bends over and picks up my underwear tucking them into his pocket and he does up his pants.

  “What are you doing with those?” I ask him “I need those.”

  “I need them more.” He says. “I need evidence that this wasn’t a dream when I wake up tomorrow.” He says smiling at me. He turns and unlocks the door grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the washroom behind him.

  “Why are we rushing?” I ask him.

  “Ali. You were not quiet in there.” He says turning towards me with the biggest smile on his face. “I’m pretty sure the whole block could hear what we were doing in there.” He says to me.

  I feel my face warm up and turn red looking around as we head towards the door. Looking for people watching us but everyone seems involved in their meals. A few people look us with their brows scrunched making me think that Carter was right. When we get outside Carter tells the door man his name and another guy walks off.

  “Don’t we need to pay?” I ask him watching the young man walk off towards a bank of elevators.

  “I did before I came to find you in the bathroom.” He says. “I thought you needed to leave, you looked overwhelmed.” He looks at me with a coy smile on his lips. “I guess you were more frustrated than overwhelmed though.” I scoff at him and smile back.

  Carter turns his head towards the road in front of us as a car pulls up in front of us. Matte black, sleek. I have no idea what its called but it looks expensive. The young man that walked off earlier gets out of the car rounding the front of it and handing the keys to Carter. I scrunch my brows turning towards him.

  “This is yours?” I ask him.

  Carter gleams at the car and then towards me.

  “Yup, took a little longer than I thought but I eventually saved up enough money for it.” He says. I look back to the car that oddly looks familiar. Carter who is still holding my hand tugs me towards the car and opens the passenger door. I turn and look back at him before getting in.

  “Is this the car. The one you said you were going to buy as soon as you pro?” I ask him.

  “You remembered.” He says.

  I bend and sit down into the car. Carter shuts the door and then walks over to the driver side. After he sits down and closes his door he turns to me.

  “I never forgot Carter.” I say to him. “I tried, but I never forgot.”

  He reaches oven and grabs my hand squeezing then lifting my hand up and kissing my knuckles. “I never forgot either.” He says turning back in his seat and starting up the car before he pulls out into the traffic.

  He took me home.

  He walked me to the door and even though I tried to get him to stay he kissed me gently on the lips and said goodbye to me. He looked pained as he backed up slowly and left. I stood in the opening of my door watching him until I couldn’t anymore.

  I closed the door kicked off my shoes walking into my room and plopped on my bed. Smiling to myself, after a few minutes I reached for my phone in my clutch and pulled it out.

  My happiness faded as a stared at the screen.

  Sammi:

  Please tell me you can come for dinner tomorrow.

  We have big news and want to tell everyone at once.

  I look at the word “everyone” and instantly feel like I betrayed him. I feel sick to my stomach. Never did I think I would feel so unsure of what to do.

  Carter has always held my heart, but Marcus is Marcus. He is kind, we share something that is new. He has been so good to me. He recognized that I needed to figure out my life and didn’t push me into a relationship before I was ready. He has been patient with me. Carter knows me, even after a decade apart we fell back together so easily.

  I don't know what to do.

  I don't know what I am doing.

  Carter vs. Marcus.

  I groan and text Sammi back telling her I will be there, then I start my pros and cons list.

  Chapter 24

  Alexis

  The next day goes by in a blur as I numbly go through the daily routine. Shower, make up, hair, outfit and then work. I putter through my day checking the clock continuously. Watching the time tick by as dinner quickly approaches. When the day is over my stomach starts doing somersaults as I stand from my desk and leave the office. My palms and the soles of my feet start sweating as I push out the front door. My abdomen cramps as I get into the cab and rattle off Sams address.

  My chest feels heavier and heavier the closer I get and when I see his truck in the driveway I think I may vomit.

  I pay the man and get out of the cab staring at the front of the house from the end of the driveway. I feel like I have sweat through my blouse with the about of stressing that I have done. I see the front door open so I start walking up the driveway to the house.

  “What are you doing out here?” Sammi yells towards me.

  “Just bracing myself for your big news.” I say yelling back to her.

  The distance closes between us and I pull her into a big hug, squeezing her silly and ensuring I have plastered on the biggest smile on my face I can.

  Fake it girl. Do what you do best.

  I pull her away from me. “So do I get any hints about this said news because I feel I have a pretty good idea what it could be.” I say to her.

  “You shut your mouth.” She says to me. “You let this be the surprise it's supposed to be.”

  “Yes mam.” I say to her. Sam smiles and pulls me into the house behind her. When I walk through the entry way I notice the large amount of people around me. I recognize some of them from Sams wedding and from some of the jobs I have done previously. There are football players, their wives and members of Sams and Coles family. I scan the room and see Cole standing with Marcus in the kitchen. I feel slight deja vu from college but I think then it was me pulling Sam into a party. She was looking for Cole while purposely avoiding Marcus. Now I’m being pulled into her house and although I'm not avoiding Marcus I’m terrified to see him. Terrified of what he will think of me and if he will cast me aside before I even have a chance with him. Or do I want a chance with him I wonder, do I want Carter. I can’t string these guys along. I feel more confused now that I ever have. I walk through the house as my friend pulls me towards the backyard door. Once outside I see more people, more chairs and cute backyard tiki decor.

  “When are you doing the announcement?” I ask her.

  “We were literally waiting for you to get here.” She says to me. “Were going to get everyone to come outside and then we're going to do it.” She pulls me to a nearby chair.

  “Here.” She says. “Sit here.”

  I smile and nod to her. “Ok.” I say.

  Sam turns and leaves back into the house. There are other people seated in the chairs. I take my time looking around the well groomed yard. Then back to the back door. Marcus stands at the top of the stairs looking down towards me, leaning over the railing with a beer in his hand. I feel uneasy under his stare. He stands up and takes a drink from he bottle then walks down the stairs. Which each big he takes he closes the distance between us. My heart jacks up into my throat as I think of what I should say or do around him. Marcus grabs t
he chair and sits down beside me. I don’t say anything.

  “How are you Ali?” He asks me.

  “How am I?” I ask him back.

  He nods at me and takes another drink from his bottle of beer.

  “I’m ok.” I say as I wring my hands in my lap and lick my dry lips. Marcus sits back in his chair looks towards the make shift stage area they have set up.

  “Have you seen him?” He asks me.

  I instantly feel like I’m breaking out in hives. I rub my sweaty palms on my skirt and looks down at my knees, not making eye contact.

  “Yes. I took your advice and called him.” I tell him.

  “Thats it?” He asks. “You only called him.”

  I turn and look at him. He must have had a few beers because I can’t tell what the look on his face means. If he is angry, upset or inebriated.

  “We met up for dinner to talk in person.” I tell him, watching and gauging his reaction to figure out what is going on with him.

  Marcus picks up his beer and downs the rest of it. Then lowers it. He doesn’t say a word or look towards me at all. He just continued looking ahead.

  “Did it help?” He asks. “Can you it least tell me it helped so it feels like I did the right thing for you.”

  My heart sinks and my eyes well up.

  I turn towards the stage area and as a tear rolls down my cheeks I tell him.

  “It helped.”

  Chapter 25

  Marcus

  Carter is a fucking piece of shit.

  I’m a piece of shit.

  This whole situation is a pile of shit.

  I can’t believe I pushed her away towards him and on the same say she met with him. I knew they went out that night. After we went to the gala together I have had to put stops to a series of articles with me and Ali in the headlines. People have been taking pictures of her and digging at her past, trying to figure out who she is and why I was with her. Looking into her past and her present. Last night I had gotten an alert that she was out at a restaurant with another guy and when I looked at the pictures I new it was Carter. I can’t be mad, I broke up with her and told her she needed to talk to him. Then I got the pictures of what she looked like when she left the restaurant and the pictures of her leaving in his car. The pictures of them arriving at her place and of them walking in together.