Inner Beast: An Enemies to Lovers Romance Read online

  This is a complete work of fiction. All characters and places were created in the authors world of creativity and imagination. All rights reserved. This book or any portion of it may not be copied, reproduced or used in any manner without the authors written permission. No Copyright infringement is intended.

  Copyright 2021 T. Smith.

  Prologue

  Have you ever been through something so traumatizing that the mere memory takes your breath away. Like you feel crushing pain and utter disappear from it. Have you suffered heart break that overtook every cell in your body and left you in such agony that you never believed your heart would meld back to its original stature?

  I have felt true heart break and it took a long time before I figured out how to be normal again. How to function. So I live my life now being the care free, happy, ditsy woman that every one has seen. Seeing others smile brings me happiness and seeing their happiness every day distracts me from the empty black hole I often feel. I was doing well. I had moved to college, made friends, gone to parties. I graduated and started my own interior design business.

  I was starting to believe the facade. I felt normal again.

  When I met Marcus, my new college friends older brother. The world shifted and I felt my wounds reopening.

  Marcus is dangerous, he has this inner beast that makes me afraid. He pulls me in and intrigues me. His personality is tantalizing. His sarcasm creeps under my skin, his voice carries through me. When Marcus is near I can sense him, my body is hyperaware.

  I feel myself believing him but,

  I cannot let the beast in. Men are liars and they only want one thing. Marcus is known for his playboy ways and I will not be the gullible girl who is cheated on. Again.

  Marcus has history and there’s that old saying. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

  Staying away from him was easy. Until I was somehow scammed into designing the interior of his new house. He wasn’t supposed to be home. He was supposed to be grunting, throwing fists to his chest like the caveman he is. Throwing footballs across fields for “goals” or whatever they call it. He wasn’t supposed to creep back in.

  Not all beasts are a prince.

  Fairytales aren’t real.

  Heartbreak is.

  Chapter 1

  2021, Present Day.

  Alexis, 26 years old.

  Tick, tick, tick, tick.

  I’ve been sitting at my desk for hours. The clock ticks nearby, my pencil taps off of the counter. The unusual heat wave this October has my clothes sticking to me and my brain working overtime. It’s too hot to think, or do anything. I’ve been stuck on this one renovation request. Whether to say yes or no. Pondering the pros and cons in front of me written out plain as day. When Sam came to be with yet another house I was over joyed. After all because of her and her husband my company has been doing better than I ever expected this soon out of college. Sam married her childhood sweetheart. He now works in sports medicine and is currently the physiotherapist for the local Seattle football team the Seattle Spheres. Due to their connections I have renovated numerous houses, penthouses, and some of their wives start up commercial business spaces. This was just supposed to be another job, Sam knows there is history between me and Marcus. She has been good about not pushing for details, while I have not been eager to fill in the dots. Sam came to me with an address of a house, I said yes. Now two months later when I open the file to see who I will be working for and to find out the type of style preferences I see his name. My stomach drops, my palms stick. Hence my current predicament. Hence the pros and cons list.

  Tick, Tick, Tick.

  My foot taps up and down off the floor. While the annoying clock continues to tick.

  Pros vs. Cons

  Pro - More publicity for my company. Con - I have to work with Marcus

  Pro - Money in the bank. Con - I have to work with Marcus

  Pro - It will make Sam happy. Con - I have to work with Marcus

  My pros and cons list is pitiful. I drop my pencil. Pick up the note and rip it into a million little pieces. Throwing the scrap pieces of paper into a nearby garbage can. I stand up, turn off my desk lamp and start locking up my little store. Everyone left hours ago. It’s Friday night and they all have plans. My life revolves around my work, its the only thing that I can control and know what the expected outcomes will be. Sometimes there are hiccups. Delayed deliveries, missing items, broken art pieces but these are solvable problems and I find joy in fixing these things. I look around at my little shop, its mostly a curb-side store front. Where clients come in for consultations, to look at book swatches for ideas. I have two employees who work with me. Jasper and Tony, they assist me with orders, deliveries, and bookings. They were the ones who so nicely put together this file. They are the ones who initially did the consult to figure out the direction this design would go and took measurements of the space. If I really needed I could go off their notes, order some stuff and they could deliver it and set it up. If I really wanted I wouldn’t even need to be physically present. The draw side to this is he would know I was avoiding him. He would know after all this time he still gets under my skin. I’ll do this project because I have no choice. I can be impartial.

  *Ding Ding*

  I flick off the lights to the shop and pick up my phone that’s now lit up with an incoming text message. I grab my keys and my purse as I peek at the screen of my phone. I notice the big words.

  MOM

  Ignoring it, I tuck my phone into my purse and head out of the shop, locking the door behind me. My mother has been sending me overbearing messages for days. When I first told my overly successful lawyer parents that I was going into interior design they scoffed and told me to pick a profession with an actual future. When I enrolled in college despite their wishes for the career of my choosing they told me to get a job and pay my way and that’s what I did. I was determined to prove I could do this and now that they have noticed my success they decide to reach out again. Now that it’s convenient for them. Now that I’m not the embarrassment they thought I was. Just seeing her name enrages me.

  It’s starting to get dark earlier outside, the fall evenings brings crisp breezes that my sticky skin welcomes. I hop into my little red Mini Cooper and start my drive home with the windows cracked. The whole way thinking of how I will decorate Marcus’s house. I will channel everything in myself into this project. As I see it, I’ll be so preoccupied with it all that he won’t even be on my radar.

  Alexis, 2009, 14 years old.

  My heart pounds so hard I feel like it will soon break free from my chest. I feel literally sick to my stomach. I rub my palms on my jeans and resume listening to Becca.

  “I’m telling you Carter is definitely into you. I heard Joey say that he’s thinking about asking you out.”

  I turn my head and look down the high school hallway where I see Carter standing with a bunch of the jocks from the hockey team. He looks so cute with his team coat, CAPTAIN written in big writing along the top. His last name TAYLOR written beneath it.

  I continue staring at him oblivious of what my friends are saying. His dirty blonde hair flows. Long enough to tousle but short enough that it remains trendy. Carter is always gliding his hands through his hair. His muscles flexing with the simplest movement. His clothes are fitted not baggy showing off the muscles he has gained from his passion in sports. My heart starts pounding harder so hard I feel like I can hear it. That’s when I notice Carter is looking at me, his piercing blue gaze staring right inside me. Looking at me with hooded eyes. I can feel the desire. The butterflies swarm in the pit of my stomach. Sweat beads at the nape of my neck.

 
The smirk he directs at me next makes me feel like the only girl in the world and when I see him walking towards me I feel like I may faint. My brain feels like it’s misfiring. Breath, act cool, say proper things. I pep talk myself into remaining calm yet I have no idea if it’s actually working. “Am I too young to have a heart attack?” I wonder. “Is this what a heart attack would feel like?” I take a deep breath and try to slow my breathing. He’s almost standing right in front of me, five steps between us, now four. Breath Ali, breath. Three steps. I can feel the tension building, the air getting thicker. Two steps, one.

  “Hi Alexis” Carter says.

  Both of his hands are up holding the shoulder straps on each side of his backpack. He looks so sure of himself, he’s so cool. He remains smiling, staring at me.

  “Oh shit” I think. “I haven’t responded yet.”

  “Hi Carter,” I say. “What’s up?”

  I immediately kick myself. “What’s up… what’s up …. So much for keeping it cool.” I can hear carter giggle. “Can I talk to you alone for a second?” He says.

  “Sure.” I say.

  We walk off a few steps away from my group of friends who are chattering and giggling like the little school girls they are. When we get to a more secluded spot. Carter stops and turns towards me.

  “I’ve been meaning to say this for awhile. I like you and I was hoping we could hang out sometime” he says.

  “I would love that” I say.

  “Awesome, here is my phone. You put your number in my phone and I’ll put mine in yours. We can text later and arrange something?” He says.

  I reach into my back pocket and hand him my phone, then take his and put my number in.

  He hands me back my phone and says, “talk to you later?”

  “Yah.” I say. “Talk later”

  I can feel my cheeks flushing, my body tremors with anticipation. I’ve never been kissed. Never been on a date. Never texted with a boy before. Carter turns to leave and waves bye to me. My friends continue staring at me giggling as I start walking back to them.

  “Did that just happen?” Courtenay says. “Did you just get asked out by the cutest boy in school. Can you imagine your wedding. Can you picture yours babies. You guys will be the cutest couple ever.” Becca and Courtenay ask in unison.

  The butterflies dissipate and I relish in the fact that yes, that just happened. My prince just asked for my number.

  In that moment I fell.

  I fell harder than I should have.

  Alexis, 2012, 17 years old. (3 years later)

  I can’t believe how naive and stupid I was and am. To believe the first boy I ever met would be my life long partner. To give my entire essence, my whole body mind and soul to a boy like that. I loved him with every cell of my being for years and he was capable of doing this to me.

  I am crushed. I want to die.

  The pain is overwhelming and it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. If this is heartache then take my heart, I don’t want it anymore. Why do they call it heartache when it feels like someone ripped open your chest, shattered the bones of your rib cage and pulled your still beating heart out of your chest. Squeezing the life that’s left within. Mocking you with the pain and agony.

  Making you nothing.

  For years it was Alexis and Carter. We went everywhere together, his friends were my friends. I don’t know how to cope without him, to function as a singular human. I can’t hang out with friends because it’s a constant reminder of what was and my friends are the betrayers just like he is. After all they knew, they knew he was sticking his dick in other woman and they didn’t tell me. Other woman like my dearest friend, Courtenay. How did I not see it or notice the warning signs. I believed his lies, believed when he told me I was insecure and when he would plead for me to just trust him.

  His kisses were sincere, he made love to me like our souls were one.

  When I looked into his eyes I believed we were endgame.

  I guess that’s why I’m the idiot because as I was thinking this about him, he was looking at me thinking of his next hookup. Who knows what he was thinking but I know if wasn’t love.

  Princes aren’t real, so from now on I won’t suffer from heartache as I won’t give my heart away ever again.

  Chapter 2

  Alexis, 14 years old.

  *Ding Ding*

  I’m sitting at the kitchen table doing my homework. It’s just after seven. It’s been four days since Carter and I traded phone numbers and I haven’t messaged him. I didn’t want to seem like the desperate girl that I am.

  I’ve gone through all the emotional hormonal mood swings.

  I’ve written text after text, proof reading, editing then deleting them so I don’t sound clingy.

  So when my phone went off I almost leapt from my chair. My screen lights up and I see his name.

  Carter — One New Message.

  I waste no time opening the message as these past four days have felt like four months.

  Carter — Hi it’s Carter. In case you lost my number. How have you been?

  Simple enough. Keep it casual.

  Me — I’ve been good, just doing some homework. How have you been?

  Carter — Well I just got home from hockey practice. Sorry it took so long to message you. We were away this weekend at a hockey tournament.

  Me — Thats ok. Did you guys win or should I start prepping my “you’ll get them next time slugger” speech?

  Carter — First, wrong sport. You’re funny, I thought about you a lot while I was gone and yes we ended up winning. Was tough though. I was wondering if you would like to go to a movie with me this week?

  Me — Congrats on the win and I would love to go see a movie. You’ll have to get used to me being sports illiterate. Haha.

  The first week flew by so quickly, we went to a movie and watched Sherlock Holmes. Carter was a gentleman. His mom drove us to the show and picked us up. He walked me to the door and kissed me on the cheek goodbye. Everyday afterwards while we were at school we would spend our lunch times together. When he had local hockey games the girls and I would go and show our support. One month later we started holding hands. Every new thing we experienced was fascinating, exciting. It was a learning experience and we grew to be more than the typical boyfriend/girlfriend. We grew to be best friends.

  When we had been dating for two months he bought me a necklace and we progressed past the simple kisses. My love for him was building and although we hadn’t expressed what we felt for each other we both knew. We were getting to a point where his presence made me feel things I had never felt before. Tingles that almost felt like my insides were being tickled. My temperature felt like it spiked into a fever. My breathing would change. I knew this was love, why else would I feel like half of me was missing when we weren’t together. I would wake up to text messages from him.

  Carter — Good morning beautiful.

  And I would fall asleep to text messages from him.

  Carter — missing you, can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

  No matter what I did my thoughts revolves around Carter. I would ensure every day I was dressed to impress, that my hair and my makeup were done. I wanted to continue to feel this desire. To know I held his heart as much as he held mine. We started flirting and making sexual remarks after four months. Most of our friends were having sex and if felt like we were behind. Carter never rushed me or pushed for us to become sexual and I felt respected by him. Our flirting was not PG.

  When we were alone together Carter would draw his fingers lightly across my skin until goosebumps appeared. He would checker kisses along anything bare. The tension was unremarkable, my body tingled and I could feel what my touch did to him as well.

  So six months later on the night of my fifteenth birthday I gave myself to him. It was both of our first times and it felt special. Carter was slow and took care of me asking if it was too much and if I was ok. When he looked in
to my eyes while making love to me and said the words “i love you” my world crumpled. I knew I would be his forever.

  I was never more sure of anything.

  Alexis, 16 years old.

  I can feel his fingers combing through my hair, grazing my scalp. My eyes are closed as I lay in Carters bed. His family is away for the weekend, they tend to spend a lot of weekends away which means we have a lot of time alone together. Carter kisses my forehead, causing me to open my eyes and blink the sleepiness away.

  Carter: “Come on babe, you need to wake up.”

  Me: “No. I’m not ready.”

  Carter: “Come on, your parents are going to kill me if I don't get you home before curfew.”

  Me: “Ugh, don't mention my parents while I'm naked.”

  I reach over towards Carter and feel his smooth warm, bare flesh.

  Me: “Ohh.. It seems I’m not the only one naked.” I say smirking. I look up into Carters eyes.

  Carter: “If you keep looking at me like that then I’m most definitely not getting you home in time.”

  Me: “I can live with that.” I say inching closer to him. Running my fingers down towards his hardened erection. “I could be late.”

  Carter leans in and starts kissing me, rolling me onto my back and leaning on top of me. His hands roam down my body, his fingers dig into my hips as me pulls me closer into him. I can feel his erection pushing against my pelvic bone. Pleasure swoons, I can feel the tingles of anticipation. My arousal for him deepening. I reach up, threading my fingers into his hair and tug the strands, pulling him closer. I can’t get enough of him.

  Carter: “I love you.” His kisses become more passionate. Devouring. “I can’t believe how beautiful you are.”

  I pull away from Carter and look into his eyes again. His pupils are blown, he looks erotic. He looks at me like I’m his world. He kisses me with purpose like each kiss will be the last. “I love you too.” I say, meaning it more than I’ve ever meant anything before.