Inner Beast: An Enemies to Lovers Romance Read online

  Marcus and I have been making small talk throughout the evening, I turn to him picking up my champagne glass, the servers have been very attentive in making sure the drinks are always full. Which has been good an also bad because I have lost track on the amount of time they have filled my glass.

  “Barbados?” I ask him. “Have you been before?”

  He turns towards me. “No actually. I never have been. I was kinda hoping when I bid for it that you would come with me.” He says to me. I smile at him and reach out of his hand.

  “That sounds like quite the proposition. Will there be limo rides involved? I’ve quite recently become a big fan of how smooth the ride is.”

  Marcus starts laughing at me and squeezes my hand firmly.

  “We will take limos everywhere if that’s what it takes to make you happy.” My heart beats harder and my skin feels warm. I take another sip of my champagne then start to think I’ve had to much. My head feels dizzy and light, my whole body seems a buzz. I set my champagne glass down just as a server comes by and refills my cup, again. I push the cup away. Feeling like I have reached my limit and direct my attention back to Marcus. Marcus reached up and touches my face, pushing one of my curls behind my ear. He leans into kiss me just as were interrupted.

  “And how is everyone at this table tonight.” He says.

  I whip my head towards his voice. He is standing right beside my chair. I feel lost for words.

  “Were having a good time.” Marcus says. I reach back for my champagne glass, feeling the sudden urge to down it when Marcus speaks again. “Hey Carter you’ve met my girlfriend before right? Ali says you work with her parents.” I choke on the champagne I was in the middle of downing. I set the glass back on the table as I cough a couple more times.

  Carter leans down to my side. “Are you ok Ali?” He says.

  I feel my eyes widening and my heart jump into my throat. After all this time, I don’t know how to feel around him. I force myself to speak. “Yah I’m fine.” I say not looking at him. Carter stands back up and turns back to Marcus. “Yah, we know each other.” He says. I start to wonder if he will correct Marcus, tell him we were lovers for years, bring up any of the past.

  “Well I hope you guys have fun, let me know if you need anything.” Carter says.

  “It was nice seeing you Ali.” He says looking at me.

  I turn and look at him. His blonde hair is short and styled well. His jaw is chiseled and strong. His eyes are still grey/blue like a storm. He towers above me, I forgot how tall and lean he was. I look up into his eyes and I see there is pain. I feel things I shouldn’t feel after nine years and definitely not while I’m sitting right beside Marcus.

  “You too.” I say looking at him.

  Carter breaks eye contact and starts walking back to the stage. He looks defeated and I was with the man long enough to know that something is bothering him. Even after all this time he still has the same tells. I notice that I’m still staring at Carter when I hear Marcus clearing his throat. I turn my head back to him and notice he looks upset as well. Now my heart feels like it’s sinking. I don’t know what’s going on and I'm going through a variety of feelings. I just saw my ex and he was within feet to me, I spoke to him. Marcus and I were having a lovely evening, they bot look upset with me. The alcohol courses through my veins and I can’t handle it. There are way too many things to process.

  “Marcus.” I say.

  He turns his head and looks at me, his eyes droop down and there is not longer a cocky smirk or any signs of happiness on his face.

  “Yes.” He says looking at me with that defeated puppy dog look.

  “Can you take me home?” I ask. “Or I can get a cab, I’m just not feeling too great right now. May have overdone it with the champagne.”

  “Yes of course.” He says standing up from his seat. “Just let me call the car and then we can get going.” Marcus pushes in his chair, takes his phone out of his pocket and walks off towards the front entrance.

  I hear Carter talking over the mic again so I turn and look to the stage where I find him staring at me. The same kicked dog look on his face that Marcus had. I don’t know why it saddens me. I loath this man, what he did to me, how he broke me. This is why I never wanted to see him again, I didn’t want the possibility of forgiving him, believing his lies but now looking into his eyes I can’t help but wonder what he has been wanting to hell me.

  I feel a hand touch my shoulder and I almost bolt out of my chair. I turn and see Marcus standing there.

  “The car will be here in five minutes.” He says .

  “Ok.” I say as I push myself up from my chair and grab my clutch. I look up to the stage one last time still seeing Carter looking our way. I turn and grab onto Marcus’s arm.

  “Are you ok?” He asks me. “Is there something going on?”

  “No I just need to sleep it off.” I say smiling kindly at him. “Please just take me home.”

  Which he did. Marcus took me home, helped me into bed and when I asked him to stay he didn’t. He said he has early morning practice. He kissed me on the forehead and then he left.

  So I laid in my bed alone. Trapped in my mind, with my thoughts. Carter and Marcus has awakened so many emotions inside of me.

  I cried myself to sleep that night, while my heart felt an invisible pull.

  I just don’t know who the pull was for.

  Chapter 20

  Marcus, Present day.

  I knew something was up. Ali’s entire posture and demeanour had changed after she saw Carter. The way he swooped to her side, the way he said her name. It doesn’t take a brainiac to figure out that they knew each other in a more intimate way then she let on. I had full intentions of staying with Ali that night, I planned to ravish her but after all that happened I could only think about him ravishing her. I couldn’t stay. I felt pent up rage and uncertainty. I felt protective and jealous. I introduced her as my girlfriend to mark my territory and even though it caused me joy that she didn’t correct me it didn’t reassure me. The way she looked at him even when we were leaving, I noticed. The way his eyes stayed glued to her as if she was the only woman in the room, I noticed. I took her home and I left but I didn’t go home.

  First I went back to the gala. I needed to know for myself and I didn’t want to upset Ali by quizzing her. When I walked back into the room the entire thing was just coming to an end. People were rising from their tables and others were already leaving through the door I stood at. I scanned the room looking for one person I came to find. The person I have trusted with all my legal issues, someone I have thought of as a friend for the past two years. I pined over Ali, I wondered why she never gave me a chance. So I need to know what they had, and why him. It seems high-school and immature but I can’t move on in a relationship with her without knowing why. I need to know why she still looks at him like she did.

  I find him across the room talking with a few people by the stage. I make my way over to him greeting people along the way and ignoring others. With each person that attempts to stop me my anger grows. I came here with a purpose. As I get closer to him Carter stops talking and his dead turns towards me. Like an animal sensing danger, I probably look like I’ve lost my head. Which I have. I need to get myself under control, there are reporters here, my teammates. If I was to lose it I could lose much more than just Ali.

  “Hey Marc, I thought you left.” Carter greets me. He is smiling which only pisses me off more.

  “I did.” I say to him. Smoothing out my tux and crying to calm myself. While reminding myself not to make a scene. “I came back to talk to you.”

  “Is this about Ali?” He asks.

  “It is.” I tell him.

  “I upset her, didn’t I.” He pauses as he looks off across the room. “I’ve been attempting to reach out to her for awhile. We have some history that needs to be amended. I’m sorry if me being here ruined your evening.” He says.

 
He is being a decent guy about this. I clamp my fists and fight the urge to punch him. I know there is probably a reason he deserves it. It could be justified. I flex my fist then take a deep breath and relax them. I look at Carter. I need to know.

  “So I take it the relationship didn’t end well?” Carter looks at me with a shocked look.

  “You haven’t put it together have you? Or have you just never listened to me during one of our drunken tirades?” He says.

  I scrunch my brow and dip my head down. What is he talking about? Carter has been really close with the team since he took over our legal contract issues and any problems we may have gotten ourselves into. He has been to some of our games, been to some of our parties and he has also hosted winning game parties for us. Over the past two years he has become as much as a brother to me as some of my teammates. He is no Cole, Cole is family but Carter is an extension to the team. A bond for life. I think back to all the parties, scanning conversations in my mind.

  “You haven’t.” He says downing the drink he’s been holding. Before he continues.

  “Look I’m sorry man if I’ve caused any issues. I don’t know how long you guys have been seeing each other but I would have assumed you knew it was the Ali I’ve spoken about. The one who got away.” He says looking back at me with a crushed look.

  It’s then that if hits me. Carter has never been seen with a girl. He has never brought one to a party and no one has ever seen him leave with one. We used to think he was married and the ball and chain was at home. When we asked him why he never brought his wife around he told us he didn’t have one. At one party after way way to maybe Carter told us about his childhood. First off it was one of those times where I wanted to send him home in a car service as he was drunk and pouring out his feelings. It was a mood killer. Second off, it was a terrible story that reminded me of coles upbringing. I wanted to go back in time and hurt his family and third. You could tell he was still pining over the same girl from high school. He kept talking about her, how she slipped from his grip. How his family ruined the best thing he ever had. How he then became everything she hated, a lawyer. How he’s been trying to find her to make amends. He called her his Ali, but there were so many Ali’s in the world how could I know that the girl I met in Seattle was the same girl. It’s a big world, didn’t they grow up in Texas.

  “You haven’t caused any issues.” I say raising my hand and patting his shoulder trying to reassure him. “I just came back to pay for the auction I bid on.” I come up with quickly only now just remembering I left without doing that. “I also wanted to see why she was upset and it makes sense now.” I say. “Was this the first time you’ve seen her since she ran off?”

  He nods his head.

  “Honestly man, it kinda kills me to see her with someone. I knew there was a chance she could have started a life. Moved on. I just of just hoped I would be able to clear some things up first though.” He says.

  I remember the story and it was fucked up, and even though I don’t want him anywhere near he when I know there are lingering feelings there she deserves to know the truth. It’s probably why she feels so messed up. I assume it least.

  “You should talk to her.” I say to him while flagging down one of the people carrying the payment shit. “I’m sure it would be good for both of you.”

  “I would if I could. She hasn’t returned any of my calls and then way she dashed out of here tonight… I don’t think she wants anything to do this me.” He says putting his champagne flute on a servers tray walking by then straightening out his suit.

  “Look man it was nice catching up, but I should get going.” Carter starts walking away as the machine to pay for the trip comes my way.

  I know it’s probably a mistake, but I feel like Ali needs to resolve her feelings with him. That she will always be closed off from me and suffer is she doesn’t. I will also always feel like I’m betraying a friend by being with her. I curse to myself. Angry that I even give a shit.

  “CARTER.” I yell at him.

  He turns back to me, waiting for me to speak.

  “I’ll get her to see you.” I say.

  He nods his head, then turns and keeps walking. I’m left there spending money on a trip I may end up taking solo. Well I’m left feeling like I just fucked up entirely, throwing her right back into the arms of her high school sweetheart. A man who didn’t hurt her as much as she thinks. Regardless of my feelings she deserves to know the truth, but I fucking hate it.

  After I left the gala I went to the gym. I had clothes there in my locker. I changed and stayed there until almost two am. Running on the treadmill and lifting weights. Punching the punching bag. Taking out all my aggression, all my stupidity until I was left feeling numb and exhausted. I wasn’t lying to Ali when I said we had early morning practice. I look at the clock, four hours until practice starts.

  I went home. I attempted to sleep. I tossed and turned. My whole house screams Ali. I will always be reminded of this awesome girl, and it will be a constant memory of how I pushed her away. Fuck.

  Chapter 21

  Alexis, Present Day.

  I wake the next morning trying not to think of last night, treating it like it was nothing but a dream. Compartmentalizing it and going on with my day. I hop in the shower and wash off the champagne hangover. Put on my makeup and do my hair. I pick out an outfit that makes me feel sexy and sophisticated. I do everything I can to make this a good day. I leave the house and smile at the desk clerk, I cab to work and stop at the coffee shop before going in. I grab buttered croissants for everyone and a coffee for myself. I walk in with my head held high, prepared to conquer this day and for once it seems to be going according to plan. Everyone in the office is in a good mood, the clients are happy, there are no distribution issues. Everything arrives intact and not broken. Everything I order is in stock. Everything today falls into place. At lunch time the guys order in sushi and we all catch up. My heart feels whole looking around the table, watching them laugh and smile. These people are like a family to me, mind you I’m their boss but it doesn’t feel that way. This feels like a business that thrives because everyone puts in the work, and I appreciate them.

  When the day starts to wrap up that’s when things change, the door dings. I turn my head, everything that I’ve been negating comes crashing back. Like a tsunami that slowly pulled back the memories and hurt all day long then came crashing back with such force that it destroys everything in its path. Marcus stands at the door and the atmosphere has changed. His everything has changed, like a light inside of him has dimmed. Marcus walks over to my desk and sits down in the chair across from me leaning back and relaxing into the arm boy chair.

  “Hi” he says. “How was your day?” It seems like a normal question, but it also feels forced. There is this awkward air around us and I feel like I need to come clean, need to explain last evening. So I ignore his question, sitting down on the other side of the desk in my office chair. Preparing myself to open old wounds.

  “Marcus, about last night.” I start. I look at him, thinking he will stop me, instead he leans forward in his chair resting his elbows on his knees with his full attention directed at me. I feel like hives are breaking out across my skin but I push on.

  “I wasn’t completely honest about Carter. I know him from before he started working with my parents.” I rub my hands along my skirt, my palms are sweating from his steady eye contact. From bringing up a man I haven’t spoken to anyone about since I left him behind.

  “He was a big part of my past and things didn’t really end well.” I finish. The details too much to go into, especially here.

  Marcus looks at me, sitting back up. I wait for him to speak. To say anything.

  “Honestly Ali. I know the history. I’ve known Carter for a few years and it took me awhile but I’ve pieced it all together. He told me a story once after far too many drinks. A story that from what I understand you were never told.” He says.


  “I’ve been recently told something similar.” I say to him. “That he has something to tell me about the past. I just don’t think I want to relive the past to figure out what that is.”

  “You need too.” He says looking at me sternly. “I don’t think we should explore this any further until you have talked to him. I believe it would resolve your feelings and help you move on. If you don’t want to pursue this anymore with me afterwards I would understand that too but right now I can’t be in a relationship with you. You have some things you are dealing with that I can’t help with so I think we should put whatever this is on hold.” He looks placid while he says this which makes my face fall to the point where why cheeks feel like they have fallen off my face. My heart thumps in my chest. Marcus stands up from his chair.

  “I’m sorry Ali. This is all just too much for me for something so new.” He says as he turns and walks away. I can’t move, I can’t get a word out. My body is still. He walks out the door and only then do I inhale a deep breath feeling like I was drowning in the depths of the ocean while he walked away. Marcus just broke up with me. He broke up with me over a man I haven’t talked to or seen in years. I watch the door, waiting for him to come rushing back. To say he changed his mind and that he made a mistake. I knew it deep down, that this would be how we would end. With him walking away like I meant nothing to him all along. Marcus is big time, and i’ve never had any luck with men like that.

  After what feels like an eternity I finally find the strength to stand from my desk and go through the rest of my day in a much different mood than before. I woke upset, pretended to be happy and as a result actually became happy. Then my world crashed down on me and now I’m left feeling broken all over again.