Inner Beast: An Enemies to Lovers Romance Page 10

  He… sobs….

  I just can’t.. I really don't understand. How could be be so heart broken when he is the one who broke us. I reach down and put the car into reverse. Carter starts smacking the car window harder.

  “Please stop it’s all a lie Ali. Don’t do this.” He continues to sob. “Please don’t leave.”

  I start reversing the car, ignoring him and his lies. It would be too easy to believe him. I would give anything it believe him. For there to be an easy explanation for everything that has happened.

  I stop the car and put the car into drive. Then think to myself.

  I roll down the window just a crack and look at him.

  “Ali. I love you.” He says.

  “Did you and Courtney send nude pictures to each other.”

  The look of shock on his face, the colour that drains from his face. That right there tells me everything I need to know. This is something that wasn’t whispered in the hall. He probably didn’t think I new this tiny detail yet.

  I roll the window back up.

  “WAIT!!” He yells, slamming his fists off of my car as I push on the gas and speed off. Speed away from him and all his lies.

  I cried myself to sleep and ignored the constant pinging of my phone. The next morning I couldn’t handle it anymore and placed my phone into a cup of water at the bedside. The phone powered down almost immediately and the peace was from it was worth it until the empty void took over again. The empty feeling. The feeling of losing someone.

  I felt like the love of my life died, when really he was still alive. He showed up at the house several times a day and I could hear my dad raise his voice. I have never heard him raise his voice before. He demanded he leave. He told him he was never welcome around here again and could never be with his daughter. My dad is the silent type. He never speaks up or shows emotion.

  My mother gave him an ear full a few times too, but that was like her. Always ready for a battle. Thats what makes her a brilliant lawyer. Doesn’t matter what the case, the suspect the crime she can put any person in their place and make them all agree that she is right. Everyone but me that is.

  For weeks, my heart shattered, mended then re-shattered. The sobbing was sometimes so hard that my stomach hurt from the wails, my chest hurt from the vibrations of breath. My eyes were red and bloodshot and my body tingled in pain. Physical pain. I never wanted to leave my room, the curtains were always closed and to eat was the worst thing anyone could inflict on me. The agony of food sitting in my stomach make me want to vomit it back out, the taste of all foods repulsed me. My parents were worries they talked about putting me in counselling.

  For the rest of the school year I didn’t leave the house and I transferred off to college as soon as I could. My parents helped, they understood as I was an embarrassment to them, everyone in our tiny little town knew and they talked about it on a loop. They all knew what happened to me. The cheating and the break up. I was able to accept and get into another college on my list. I moved to Seattle early living out of a hotel until I was able to get into the dorms a few months later. I changed my phone number, I deleted my social media accounts and started new ones under a new name.

  I changed everything. The heart ache was still there but I was determined to be a different person I was determined to be happy.

  So when I moved into my college dorms and met my roommate I vowed she would never know. She would never look at me with the eyes of pity or think of me as the poor girl whose heart was broken by her high school sweetheart.

  College was about moving on.

  College was about forgetting.

  College is where I met Marcus.

  I never realized how much I truly adored Sam. She was always timid and afraid of her brother and she seemed to have a chip on her shoulder. When she opened up about her childhood sweetheart and the heart break she endured I felt my wounds reopening. I felt her pain as well as mine. We bonded in that moment, but I still didn’t tell her. She was a virgin in college, had experienced her own trauma. So I was there for her, took her out to mend her heart and help her move on. In helping her I found I helped myself. I became the person who sought joy in making others happy.

  When they got back together I was happy for her. Cole never cheated on Sam, he never publicly humiliated her. So I was happy for them. I pined for happiness though and found myself having random hookups through college. Feeling euphoric joy helped. Feeling something make me feel human and helped me realize I could be happy again.

  Marcus was supposed to be a random hook up, he took me out, we had fun but after learning he wanted to go pro I couldn’t. Memories flashed in my mind and he was a constant reminder of what had happened.

  That’s the thing about trauma. It sneaks up on you. Could be from a single taste that brings you back to a previously special night. It could be a smell that used to bring comfort and joy. It could be a person with the same aspirations.

  My trauma is Carter.

  Chapter 18

  Marcus, Present day.

  I walk into my house after football camp completely exhausted. I notice instantly that everything’s changed. When I push open the door I hear something skate across the floor. I look down and see a key shining. Confused I pick it up, then remember I gave a key to Ali, but that still doesn’t explain why it’s on the floor. Exhausted I figure I’ll deal with it later and throw it on the entry table.

  The entry table that wasn’t there before. I scan the room and notice the walls are decorated, and there is furniture everywhere. My mouth agape I start walking through the house. The living room is finished, the seating room, the kitchen. Everything we discussed is done. Everything is immaculate and impressive. She captured my taste and yet also made it look clean and sophisticated. Expensive yet practical.

  I walk up the stairs and see the spare room is done as well, I see more doors open and when I look in I notice those spare rooms have been furnished as well.

  I can’t believe she found time to do all this in just over a month. I need to find a way to thank her. Yet I still can’t figure out what went wrong, she must have spent a lot of time here which means she couldn’t have helped but think of me and she never reached out. I waited for her to come to me on her own terms not wanting to push her. I’m now starting to think I fucked up. Maybe I should have pushed.

  I walk into my room and head right for the shower, my body aches. My eyes sting. The flight was long and hot. The heat from the hot water hits my muscles and I feel at peace, more relaxed in my own home. A home that screams Ali. Everything touched by her, thought of by her, left here by her.

  I hop out of the shower and change into some casual comfortable clothes. I need to see her.

  I just hope she wants to see me.

  Alexis

  I’ve thrown on my silk robe and emailed everyone to tell them that I’m working out of the office today. I spend quite a bit of time emailing with clients, setting up dates and ordering materials for other projects in the wait. I send pictures and they choose items. Some more particular in their tastes than others. Jasper and Tony closed the office today and they’ve been on location with the movers wrapping up a few of the jobs. Tomorrow I’ll have to swing by and give the final ok before the clients see it for the first time. Make sure everything was to their specifications before moving onto the next job.

  I’m just wrapping up when I hear a knock at the door and notice that it’s four in the evening. My nerves resurface and my stomach churns. I stand up from my chair, my legs sore from sitting for so long. I pad over to the door and peek through the hole. That’s when I see Marcus on the other side. I sign in relief, relishing in the fact that Carter doesn’t know where I live. I look down and take in my appearance. It’s not the first time he’s seen me in my silk robe. Not the first time he has seen what lies under it. Not even the second time. I take a deep breath, unlock the door and open it.

  Marcus stands before me. Black baseball ca
p covering his short brown hair, pulled down mid forehead. Black crew neck t-shirt and grey sweat pants. Which should be illegal because I spot his bulge and know immediately what he’s picking. He has finished his look off with black nikes. He looks common and know one would ever know he’s wealth. My mouth waters looking at him. My skin shivers, goosebumps bead my skin and I find myself crossing my arms to cover my hardening nipples under my robe.

  “Hi.” I say quietly. Looking him in the eyes.

  “Hi.” He says back. He looks sad, like something pains him.

  “Why are you here?” I ask.

  I can see Marcus taking a deep breath then tilt his head up towards the ceiling expelling all the air back out. He looks back down to me. “Can I come in?” He asks

  I back into my condo not saying a word. Marcus follows behind me closing the door gently behind him. I walk over to the couch, sitting down and tuck my legs under myself. As I do I check my robe to make sure it’s closed and there is nothing hanging out. Marcus walks over and sits a cushion space away. Far enough I can’t touch him but close enough that I can smell his body wash. My body hums thinking about his body touching mine.

  “You never answered my question.” I finally say to break the impeding silence.

  “Why are you here?”

  Marcus looks down at his hands then stares off in front of him towards the TV, away from me at his side.

  “I came to thank you.” He says. “You did a great job on the house”

  “Thank you.” I say.

  Marcus looks at me, the pain and anguish still relevant in his face.

  “Do you regret it?” He says to me.

  “Regret the sex?” I say back to him in question. He nods his head, I can see his hands gripping his thighs as if he is holding back, afraid of the answer.

  “Do you?” I ask him back.

  He takes another deep breath and rolls his eyes. I can tell he is on the edge, that this actually troubles him.

  “I asked you first.” He says leaning forward on the couch, changing positions and resting his elbows on his thighs. Hands gripped together, his eyes fixated on them.

  “I don’t regret it.” I say to him. “But you never called either. Never texted. Never reached out. I waited for you. You said you would be back in two weeks but you never came back” I say, emotions still high in my body. A mixture of pain, suffering and pleasure. A chaotic storm I can’t seem to manage. I hold back my tears, not wanting him to see. We had sex once, we’re not together and if he saw he would think I was overtly emotionally attached. When in reality I just don’t have control of my emotions. I feel myself deep breathing now. Feeling the force of air into my lungs and focussing on that feeling.

  He looks at me, I can tell from the look in his eyes that I’m not hiding my feelings well from him. He can see through my protection barriers. He sees me.

  “I figured when you didn’t reach out that you regretted it. That you didn’t want to speak to me. So I stayed at camp when we had our rest days and tried to focus on the sport.” He pauses, gauging my reactions. “When I came home and saw the house. I don’t know. I felt like I needed to see you. Find out what happened. It looks like you spend a lot of time there. I’m shocked you finished it already and also, I guess hurt about it. I was looking forward to more furniture assembly.”

  I scrunch my brows at him and he smiles.

  I feel the tension in my body release and I let out a small quiet chuckle.

  Marcus smiles at me, turning his body towards me, bringing his leg up onto the couch closing the space between us. He reaches his hand up and cups the side of my face, rubbing his thumb along my skin.

  “What happened?” He asks, then continues. “You decided to finish the house, literally throw away the key and forget about me?”

  I lean into his hand and close my eyes.

  “Yes.” I whisper. “I wanted to surprise you when you came home with your house finished. When you didn’t come home I figured it was what it was. Sex, one time. I don’t expect a relationship from you Marcus, I never did. We barely know each other.” I say.

  Marcus looks at me. His eyes bore into me.

  “What if I want a relationship?” He asks

  I scrunch my brows. The confusion probably evident on my face.

  “I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship.” I say to him.

  “I don’t want to push you.” He says. “But I also don’t want you to push me away without giving me a chance.”

  “I have a lot going on right now.” I tell him. “I feel like I’m a mess, like I’m spiralling out of control”

  His thumb rubs my lower lip now as he inches closer.

  “Then let me be here for you.” He says, “Let me help.”

  I expel a breath I didn’t even know I was holding on to. He looks at me with such certainty, such adoration. Screw it I think as I close my eyes and nod my head.

  Before I even have time to process it, or open my eyes I can feel his lips smashing against mine in a passionate flurry.

  I can feel my skin instantly heat up, my nipples harden into painful peaks. I want to be touched, crave to feel his hands roam all over my body. I need him to help me, help me forget. Help me feel something else, anything than what I’ve been feeling. I climb over the couch and straddle his lap. Marcus groans into my mouth, I reach up and pull his ball-cap off and throw it across the room. Our lips break free momentarily as I reach down and pull his shirt off, throwing it off to the side too. I feel him hardening under me so I rotate my hips in circles grinding myself on his groin, making him need this as much as I do. I can feel his hands moving to the front of my robe, pulling the tie free. His warm rough hands slip inside lighting my insides on fire, I can feel myself soaking his pants as I continue grinding against him. His hands slide up my body, when they reach my nipples she softly rolls them between his thumb and his forefinger. The lightness drives me crazy. He knows how to tease me. To make me scream for him. I need him to squeeze, to shoot the electricity of pleasure through me, but me continues the suffering. He lets go and I whimper, as he brings his hands up to my shoulders where he slips my robe down onto my arms.

  Frustrated I drop my arms and finish taking off my robe, ripping it off and throwing it off to the side. I look at him sternly, “I need you. No teasing me tonight. I need to feel you inside me, hard and fast. Marcus I need you to fuck me.”

  He doesn’t say anything, instead he stands holding onto my thighs, his grip tightening while he keeps me perfectly in place like I weigh nothing. He carries me off towards my room. The whole time our mouths remain interlocked. A flame that’s only burning more and more as time goes on.

  Marcus walks into my room and backs me up towards the bed leaning over and letting go. I fall down onto bed and bounce, giggling at him. Marcus smiles at me as he continues undressing himself. I lean up onto my elbows watching him, surveying his muscles to memory. Watching at each arm, ab, thigh muscle clench with his movement and then relax. It’s mesmerizing and erotic. Marcus finished off taking off his sweatpants, boxers and his socks. Then climbs onto the bed, and leaning down over top of me so he can whisper into my ear.

  “Hard and fast is something I can do baby, but what position do you want to feel me in.”

  My body shivers and I squirm underneath him, which he notices. Marcus takes the lobe of my ear into him mouth and nibbles, teasing me like I asked him not to.

  “Come on Ali.” He continues with his raspy, whispering voice.

  “You either tell me or I continue to torture you. What naughty thing do you want me to do to you. How do you picture me fucking you hard.”

  I whimper, I can feel the wet warmth coating my inner thighs. I clench hoping to alleviate the pressure but it only heightens.

  “Marcus.” I plead.

  Marcus takes him fingers and draws up my arm featherlight. When he gets to my shoulder his fingers dance along my collar done before them dip down aro
und my breast. When he gets to be nipple and just grazes it I almost lose it.

  “Get on your back!” I demand him.

  Marcus smiles at me with his cocky boy smirk. The same smirk from Sams wedding, the same smirk from that first day when I came to his house to see him in a towel. He has me and he knows it. He gets off from it.

  Marcus rolls over onto his back, he places his hands behind his head which makes his arms bulge even more. His pecks, his abdomen. This man is like kryptonite. I crawl over and straddle him. Lining myself up with his engorges, thick cock. I almost scream out just from the mere sensation of his girth as I grind down his erection. He feels bigger than last night. I roll my hips closing my eyes and arching my back. I glide down farther stretching around him slowly. When I don’t think I can take anymore I stop momentarily.

  Marcus all of a sudden thrusts his hips up slamming into me hard and forcing the remainder of himself into me. I scream out, almost orgasming in that moment. I look down and see his devil smile.

  “You said you wanted it hard and fast baby. You're going pretty slow up there.”

  I groan because he is right. Then stand raising myself up and slamming back down onto him. Marcus removed his hands from behind his head and grips his firm fingers into my ass. Each time I lift my hips he lowers his into the bed, and each time I go to slam down Marcus raises his hips up and grips me hard forcing me down harder. He reaches something inside me that flickers each time he does this. It’s the deepest anyone has ever been in me and it makes me forget everything that has plagued my mind.

  Raise up, thrust down.

  I scream out bouncing up and down on top of him, I reach to the front of me and start rubbing my clit. Pushing, rubbing and pinching it causing my orgasm to build and build. I can feel the pressure in my abdomen, feel the tingles in my legs and nipples. I can feel my skin turning red from the heat and pleasure.

  “Fuck.” Marcus says. “That’s fucking sexy.”

  I look at Marcus and can see him watching me rub my clit as I found on him. His eyes moving from my clit to my breasts.